It starts the moment you believe you are pregnant. First you have to buy the test – a device you never thought you’d need or you’d just be in doctors office finding out – am I right? Ok moving on.
Then you see that plus sign or if you are really fancy your pee stick will say “pregnant”. Dang! Adventures are about to begin.
Or it may start with a decision to adopt. Which just kicks ass but also comes with stacks of paperwork that all seem to require large sums of money.
Either way. A new life is coming to you.
As you are anxiously awaiting the arrival of your bundle (and most likely puking your guts out – what? Adoptive mothers can puke too! ) you will begin to get asked many questions.
“You guys are gonna move right? You can raise a baby in the city!”
“One bedroom?! Where is the baby gonna sleep? You need at least two rooms.”
“You have to get at least two strollers. What happens if one breaks?”
“You have to use organic cotton baby clothes and make your own wipes! Do you really want to introduce toxins to your baby so young?”
All of a sudden your happy bundle of joy becomes a laundry list of “must haves” with an endless supply of guilt.
If that isn’t enough you head into a baby store and your head explodes! Why so many choices? Does a baby really need at least one thing from eighteen different categories? If you don’t get the right stuffed animal as an infant will your kid have to repeat kindergarten??? In an effort to love your child and set him/her up for success you end up registering – and receiving – endless amounts of baby stuff.
Enter baby shower. Instead of being centered around celebrating baby and enjoying your friends, it is centered around things. Target and Babies R Us will puke all over your living room and it is not a pretty sight.
Once your guests leave now you must go through and sort all the gifts. Two piles – wants and no thank you. Now not only do you have too much stuff but some of your “I’m not gonna buy from the registry” guests have bought you a trip to Goodwill.
ARGH!!! So much stress and baby isn’t even HERE!
Don’t worry mama. It happens to us all. And quickly before you can even realize it. Let me assure you that if you don’t have thirty five outfits have your baby will still look into your eyes with sheer adoration. If you decide to get a wrap instead of a stroller you don’t instantly become a hippie and your child’s teeth will not grow in funny if they don’t have the right pacifier.
In order to make as much money as possible companies prey on new mamas. They make you believe you NEED many products that they sell – how convenient eh? I guarantee you will never see an ad that says “We care about your baby. And we know they need a snuggle blanket. We sell it but our competitor has a better price. Here is their address and phone number. Buy it from them.” Ah but I digress….
So what’s a mama to do?
You have a baby in your belly?! What the what?! That’s exciting! A new little one is joining your fam bam via adoption?! That’s amazing!!
People love you. They want to bless you. We will talk about how they can do that in our next post. For now just relax. Don’t register or read any “needs” lists online. Just draw a bath with a small glass of wine. Take a walk or shoot off a few rounds at the range.
Are you relaxed? Ok – read step three
Three. Speak your mind.
Oh no. Yep – I just gave mamas permission to speak up! You don’t have to be a raging hormonal mean queen – unless thats your thing. But there are nice ways to speak your mind. If you really don’t want your little girl in lots of pink ask nicely for more neutral colors. If you don’t want all sports theme stuff for your little boy you have a right to ask for other options. Remember, that baby is in YOUR belly or taking YOUR last name. You choose what you want in their environment.
If you are a new mama you may already have friends who have little minions. Invite yourself over to their houses and observe their natural habitats. Some may feel like complete chaos. You say “thank you for having me over” and get the heck out of there. That system and schedule may work for them but if it stresses you out its not for you. Not all is bleak though. You may be able to learn from each mama that you meet and create a cocktail of choices for your own life. (Safari hat and binoculars not required but sure as heck super fun)
**This is where I advice real life mamas and not online only. I know. I’m a hypocrite because you are reading this online. But Pinterest and Instagram only show one side of the story. You may see a mama post a photo of their adorable kids but only in real life do you see the toddler bite the baby after the picture is snapped. Not only will it be a more realistic story but it will also make you feel better when you make the same mistakes in the future. You can’t hide real life with a filter 😆
Ok. That’s all I have because I think that’s a lot. We can discuss more specifics next post.
Congrats on the new bundle 💛